The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Received

Starting out as a teen mom, I got bucket loads of parenting advice.  It was a blessing because let’s face it- I had no idea what I was doing! I didn’t know Jesus yet, and had a lot of sin issues.

When my husband and I did get saved, God hooked us up with a couple who taught us how to train up our children in the word of God.  We learned how to biblically instruct, reprove, and correct their behavior while also addressing their sinful heart condition.

We made a lot of mistakes, but praise Jesus, each of our kids now has a relationship with Him.  That’s the goal of parenting, you know, for our children to love Jesus.

2Timothy 3:15~ And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

The best parenting advice I ever received

The best parenting advice I ever received was actually from a woman with no physical kids of her own.  She’s a missionary, and a wise and godly woman.  She came for a visit and I was sharing about a difficult time we were going through with one of our teens.

This child seemed to get joy from pushing all my buttons until I blew my fuse. They were being used as a pawn of Satan to cause chaos and contention in the home. I just knew that they needed to get saved and then their behavior would change and we would have peace.

But the gospel isn’t about behavior modification, and it’s not about making us good. The gospel is intended to reconcile depraved sinners to a holy God.

Ephesians 1:7~ In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; 

Just love them

As I was venting my frustrations with my missionary friend, her counsel was so simple, yet so profound:

“Love him.  Right where he is, just like he is. Just love him.  Unconditionally, because you can’t change him, only God can.”

That’s exactly what I was trying to do, to change him so I could have stress free days. I was addressing his sinful nature with truth and prayer but with selfish motives.  Obviously I did truly love this child, with natural motherly love, but this kind of unconditional love that she was suggesting is supernatural through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I had to change my motives and my approach, and God had to change my heart. Bitterness had taken root in my heart towards this child that had caused me so much grief through the years.  That almost choked out my joy in mothering him.

Prayer, praise, progress

The Lord used this faithful woman to speak truth into my life, and I began to see this relationship the way that God did.  My perspective on my responsibility toward my teen shifted from preaching to praying, from pointing out flaws to praising efforts, from talking to listening. We began to spend quality time together, have conversations, and enjoy each other again. They still got biblical training and correction for disobedience, and every day wasn’t sunshine and lollipops, but it was better.  We were making progress.

Romans 2:4 says that it’s the goodness of God that leads to repentance.  It’s Him and his love, compassion, grace, mercy, and forgiveness that draws sinners to the Lord, not nagging. My tactics, however well-meaning, weren’t working. I had to get out of the way and let God work on their heart and do what only God can do.

1John 4:11~ Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

The best parenting advice I ever received was to love my difficult child, the way that God loves me.

Do you have some parenting advice to share?  I’d love to hear it, drop it in the comments below!

Psalm 127:3-5~ Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.  Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Resource Library:

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Pray With Confidence

If you would like to grow in your prayer life, you should check out Pray with Confidence.  It’s a website for helping women overcome prayer obstacles, and I am one of the 40 monthly contributors. Here are a couple of links I think will be a blessing to you:

2 Things to Remember to Find Peace in Chaos by Annie McGuire

Waiting on God? 10 Scriptures to Pray While Waiting by Karen O’Reilly, contributing writer at Scriptural Grace.

When you are done reading those articles, you will want to check out the prayer resources, Bible verses, and tough questions tabs as well.  There are so many great options to boost your spiritual growth!