Did you know that there is a purpose behind your parenting? There is a reason God gave you children, and that is to reproduce worshippers for His glory. The Lord wants to see your children be saved, sanctified, and serving Him, and it’s your job to create an atmosphere conducive to faith in Christ. Motherhood is a ministry marked by messiness and blessedness, requiring the grace of God, the word of God, and the Spirit of God to accomplish its objective. There are 3 extremes to avoid in motherhood that can be dodged by getting God’s mind on them.
Motherhood Extreme #1- Wish the kids were never born:
Some women view children as an inconvenience, mistakes that mess up the plans they had for their own life. But children are valuable to God, and every single one of them was knit together by Him. Psalm 127:3-5 says that children are our inheritance from the Lord himself.
Mark 10:13-16 tells us that Jesus loves children. He took the time to acknowledge and accept them. He held them in his loving arms, laid his holy hands upon them, and blessed them. Children matter to the Lord, and each one is a blessing, regardless of the circumstances regarding their birth, or the behavior they exhibit.
Even when they’re making you crazy and wearing you out and don’t feel like a blessing- they are. Remember that their soul is at stake. Every child under your roof is a soul that needs to be saved and has a purpose within the kingdom of God. They have the potential to influence their generation and change their world for God’s glory. Your role as their mother is essential to them becoming all that God wants them to be.
To avoid this extreme in motherhood, praise God for the gift of children, and keep the purpose of parenting at the forefront of your mind.
Psalm 127:3~ Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Motherhood Extreme #2- Worry about them:
Once you have been entrusted with the life of another human being, it’s only natural to worry about their health, safety, and wellbeing. Some women take this to the extreme and obsess and worry over every detail of their child’s life and future. They are the “helicopter moms” hovering over their kids, at the ready to give them their heart’s desire.
These moms inadvertently hinder their children’s communication and problem-solving skills, rendering them unable to function independently. Micromanaging your children can have negative mental and emotional effects on them.
When we go to this extreme in motherhood, we can transfer our anxiety to our children, but when we pray about everything instead, we pass along peace.
Philippians 4:6-7~ Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Learn from Mary
If anyone had the right to go to this extreme in motherhood, it was Mary, the mother of Jesus. She was entrusted with raising the Son of the living God, and that had to be an overwhelming task. I don’t know about you, but if I was Mary, I would worry that I’d mess up the Messiah. Mary obviously wasn’t a “helicopter mom” because she accidentally left Jesus behind in Jerusalem when he was twelve. (Luke 2:42-43) If Mary didn’t worry obsessively, we shouldn’t either!
We’re not raising little Saviors, there’s only one Jesus after all!
If you’re a worrier, check out this post by my friend Ally King: 12 Encouraging Bible Verses for the Mom who Worries
To avoid this extreme in motherhood, worry about nothing, pray about everything, and trust God with your children.
Motherhood Extreme #3- Worship them:
This extreme in motherhood is particularly dangerous because it’s idolatry. God says to have no other gods before Him (Exodus 20:3), but some moms worship their children. They put them up on a pedestal, center their lives around the likes/dislikes and activities of the children, and are so absorbed with their kids that they have little time for anything else.
Regardless of how fabulous your children are, God alone is worthy of worship. Yes, we should love our children, support them, and think highly of them, but they should never take the place of God in our lives.
It’s important for mothers to maintain an intimate relationship with God, despite the difficulties and demands of parenting. Bible study, prayer, and praise have to be their number one priority. Worshiping God keeps our hearts clean, our minds renewed, and our faith strong. When we neglect that worship we disrupt communication and communion with God, and all of our other relationships suffer.
Learn from Hannah
There’s a woman in the Bible that had the potential to worship her child above God. She was barren and desperately prayed for a child. She goes to the temple and pours out her soul to the Lord in sorrow and bitter grief. Her name is Hannah, and you can read her story in 1Samuel 1:1-28.
God grants her a son, and instead of idolizing him, she surrendered Samuel to the Lord. He was a direct answer to her prayer, the desire of her heart, but Hannah wasn’t obsessed with him. She willingly offered her son up to the Lord, recognizing that anyone and everything the Lord gives- is his to take back. It all belongs to Him.
1Samuel 1:27~ For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him:
To avoid this extreme in motherhood, keep your priorities straight, and give God the worship he deserves.
The Joy of Motherhood
The ministry of motherhood is messy, but it is a privilege. If you’re a mother, I pray you find joy in making disciples of Christ for the glory of God. Remember that children are a blessing from God, pray for them diligently, and love them faithfully, as you mold them into godly men and women. Praise the Lord for the privilege of motherhood, and worship Him for his goodness and grace.
If you go to these extremes in motherhood, repent, and begin to see your role as God defines it in scripture. Pray for a clean heart and renewed mind to love your children and lead them to the Lord.
Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children. ~ Billy Graham
More on Motherhood:
The Legacy I Leave Today ~ A Poem for Mothers
6 Simple Ways to Love Your Children
The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Received
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Yeah! I think it’s entirely possible to raise kids who respect you and listen to you, while still having a friendship with them. That’s exactly what my mom did with me and I am beyond thankful. We don’t need Gilmore Girl type parenting, but we also don’t need parenting that makes it impossible to have a godly friendship!
I agree! Thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate it!
I really loved this quote: “If anyone had the right to worry obsessively about their child it was Mary, the mother of Jesus.” I had never thought about that before. Thanks for sharing that perspective. I will be mulling that thought over for quite a while.
Praise the Lord! 🙂
What an important message. It can be extremely difficult to keep our parenting priorities straight when we love our young ones so very much. I appreciate the reminder about our role, and where we’re ultimately to get our identity from ourselves.
I know that is so true! Thank you for reading and commenting, blessings to ya! 🙂
Thanks for sharing. I’m actually expecting my first baby in October, so it’s really interesting to think about these things even now.
Congratulations!
Great insight! It’s so hard to find a balance in parenting. I love the part about being a biblical friend to our children. Sometimes I get very bogged down in the daily drudgery of motherhood. I’m going to focus on being a biblical friend to my children this week!
Praise the Lord! Balance is difficult for sure. But by the grace of God we parent by the book and God blesses it! Our kids just need us to love them, listen to them,and lead them to the Lord. A lot of times we just need to be mindful to be intentional, and remember our kids are our inheritance and an investment with eternal rewards. Thank you for sharing, blessings to ya! 🙂