Building the discipleship relationship is necessary for it to be a fruitful endeavor. Women crave connection and companionship, and biblical discipleship is one way to help meet that need. Discipleship is the process of investing God’s word into another person and helping them to grow in their faith.
Titus 2:3-5 lays out the character and conduct needed of the spiritual mentor, and the curriculum she is to teach. Through this Big Sister/Little Sister relationship, women learn to walk in love, and in wisdom, for God’s glory.
If you are an older woman who desires to disciple a younger woman, I encourage you to begin building the discipleship relationship with these three things in mind: the foundation, fellowship, and the foe.
Building the discipleship relationship – Foundation
In Matthew 7:24-29, Jesus describes the difference between wise and foolish builders. Wise builders (the obedient ones who hear and do) build upon the rock (Jesus), while the foolish (those who hear but don’t do), build upon the sand. The storms of life come at both of the houses, but only the wise one stands.
If we look at these verses in light of discipleship relationships, unless they’re built on Jesus Christ- they will fall apart. The foundation of our relationships must be our common salvation through Jesus Christ.
Share your testimony and have your disciple share hers. If she’s not born again, be intentional about sharing the gospel with her. Be prayerful and prepared for your time together, because you never know when she’ll be ready to give her life to the Lord.
Study 1John together to build the discipleship relationship
1 John was written to give assurance of eternal security, so studying this book of the Bible together can help your disciple determine if she is truly saved. In this age of prosperity preaching, emotion-led ministry, and watered-down gospel presentations, false conversions are common. People are led astray and have false hope that they are born again when they have never repented of sin and placed their faith in Jesus.
I urge you to watch American Gospel with your disciple. It is a very eye-opening film about the dangers of false teachers and the Word of Faith movement.
Without securing the foundation of salvation, your relationship with your disciple will be unstable. She won’t think biblically, live righteously, or learn faithfully because without salvation she doesn’t possess the Spirit of the Living God.
1 John 5:13 KJV -These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
Building the discipleship relationship with fellowship
Fellowship is community and communion, sharing intimately in the word and work of the Lord. This is a vital component of the discipleship relationship. In reading through the gospels, and looking specifically at how Jesus interacted with his disciples, we can learn how to be relational like he is.
Jesus made the first move and connected with the disciples, ate with them, prayed with them, taught them God’s word, ministered with them, and prepared them for his departure. Through fellowship with his disciples, Jesus trained them on how to relate to others and do the work of the ministry.
Spiritual mentors need to encourage and equip their disciples like Jesus did through biblical fellowship.
This kind of fellowship doesn’t just happen, you have to be intentional and plan it.
Ideas for fellowship with your disciple
- Have coffee or a meal together.
- Go shopping or to the movies.
- Have her over for a counseling and prayer session.
- Spend time teaching her the basics of how to study her Bible.
- Do Bible studies with her.
- Take her with you as you minister to others.
While you fellowship with your disciple in these ways, make sure you ask questions and get to know them. Find the common ground in physical and spiritual things, and build on that. Every woman is different and will need different things from you, so remember to be sensitive to her unique situation and schedule, and be flexible.
Fellowship with Christ first
Before you focus on building the discipleship relationship, have fellowship with Christ first. He is your source of strength, wisdom, compassion, and love, for discipleship or anything else. (John 15:1-5)
Abide in Christ, in the word and in prayer, seek His presence and power to do all things for His glory. Partner with Jesus to minister to your disciple. Apart from him you can do nothing, but with him you can do all things.
The Foe of the discipleship relationship
John 10:10 KJV -The thief cometh not, but for to steal and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
Satan wants to steal God’s glory, kill unity, and destroy relationships. He will use busyness, sickness, insecurities, and drama to distract and divide. The devil hates discipleship because he knows how transformative it is. Spiritual mentors have to be sober and vigilant against the wiles of the devil.
When the spiritual warfare comes we know we’re on the right track, so we can’t give up! Pray about it, and be even more intentional to engage in building the discipleship relationship.
Discipleship Relationships take work
Ecclesiastes 10:18 says “By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through.” When we get lazy in our efforts to reach out to our disciples, and lack fellowship with them, our discipleship relationship will fall apart.
All relationships take work. They’re sometimes messy and complicated. But they’re necessary, and they can also be a great source of joy.
I pray the older women in the Body of Christ will take the command to disciple younger women seriously. And that they would be sober, Spirit-filled, teachers of good things who invest in the next generation for God’s glory. Because He is worthy, and His word is being blasphemed every day, everywhere, and we have the ability to change that. We just have to take the step of faith and do it.
Titus 2:3-5 KJV – The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed.
More on biblical discipleship:
Women Teaching Women: Be an Example in Discipleship
Guest Post on Biblical Discipleship- Barriers and Blessings
5 Properties of Biblical Discipleship
3 Keys to Bearing the Burdens in Discipleship
9 Characteristics of a Teacher of Good Things
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Intended to be used alongside your daily Bible reading, My Jesus Journal has space to record the date, the scriptures you read, and lined spaces to write your observations about Jesus you saw in the text. The bottom of that page has a verse from the KJV Bible about Jesus. The next page has space to write prayers related to what you discovered in your reading. There are also extra prayer pages in the back of the book.
Mark 12:30 tells us to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, but we cannot love someone we do not know. The more time we spend intentionally seeking Jesus in the pages of scripture, the more we will know Him and love Him.
My Jesus Journal aids us in our quest to learn and love and know Jesus more deeply.
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Pray With Confidence
Prayer is vital to building the discipleship relationship. If you desire a stronger prayer life, then check out Pray With Confidence. It’s a website for helping women overcome prayer obstacles, and I am one of the regular contributors. Here are some links I think will be a blessing to you:
63 Insightful Bible Verses About Grace
3 Short Prayers for Spiritual Stability
How to Have Peace in the Chaos
Check out the prayer resources, Bible verses, and tough questions tabs as well. There are many great options for your spiritual growth!
Thank you for sharing these truths! 🙂
Thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate it! 🙂
This is excellent. I love how you compared it to a mother-daughter relationship. Pinned and saved for personal reference!
Praise the Lord! I’m glad it was a blessing to ya. Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate your feedback. 🙂
I appreciate your explicitness on this!! We need to be willing to put in the time with our disciples……….with love, prayer, and God’s word.
Definitely! 🙂
That’s a great article. I think you are right that Discipleship needs to be intentional and well understood beforehand. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate your feedback! Blessings! 🙂
Love this!! You are a great writer!! 🙂
You’re sweet, I appreciate that! 🙂
Such an important topic, especially for women who tend to fall prey to Satan’s attempts at ruining relationships!
It really is. Two likeminded women studying the Bible together is a serious threat to the enemy’s agenda. Sadly, women are often oblivious to his schemes and play right into his hand.
I’ve watched you investing in other women and have born witness to the sweet spiritual fruit born from those relationships. Taking that first step to mentor someone in this way can be daunting. It isn’t a 6 week program but rather a living relationship that could go on for years…..always growing together in Christ. Other women invested in you when you first gave your life to Christ; the fruits of their labors are being witnessed to today in your teachings. Those woman have to believe right now that they made a really good investment! Praising God that you said yes to discipleship when they approached you, that you took it seriously and did all you could to learn and grow in Christ. May God continue to bless you through those relationships and in the ones that you are now investing in.
Thank you for your sweet words, you’re a blessing! I am so thankful for all of the ladies who have invested in my spiritual growth and taught me so much about what it means to be a faithful and fruitful follower of Christ. You’re definitely on that list!! 🙂
I couldn’t agree more with you on how important building a relationship is when it comes to discipleship. Like any good, healthy relationship, we have to be intentional about it; invest our time and attention to the others need.
Absolutely!