The Bridegroom Beckons His Bride: Seeing Jesus in the ancient Jewish wedding customs

As I worked my way through Titus 2:3-5, I went down a rabbit trail, and studied the ancient Jewish wedding customs. That study time led to this post on how the bridegroom beckons his bride.

Women today get married because they love their man, but that wasn’t the case when this passage was written. Marriages were usually arranged, and this is how they would go down…

The dowry

The bridegroom’s family paid a dowry, (a sum of money, animals, or other goods), to a virgin’s father to be betrothed to her. This was paid because the daughter helped water the flocks and work the fields, and it covered the cost to replace her.

If he accepted the dowry, the couple entered into a marriage covenant. But they wouldn’t live together or consummate the marriage yet. The young man told his new bride “I am going to prepare a place for you and I will return when it is ready.”

He left the bride with a special dowry as a promise to return again.  The man returned home and began building the wedding chamber onto his father’s house.

When asked the date of the wedding, he replied “only my Father knows”.  His father had to approve the work, and tell the bridegroom when the chamber was finished.

The preparation of the bride

While the bridegroom worked on the wedding chamber, the bride purified herself and prepared herself to be a wife.  She immersed herself in a pool of water called a “mikvah” for ceremonial cleansing.

When the wedding chamber was ready, the bridegroom sent his best friend to collect his bride.  She wouldn’t know exactly when this was going to be, so she had to be ready at all times.  The bride kept a lamp full of oil, her veil, and other things by her bed.

Her bridesmaids had to be alert and wait with oil in their lamps as well, because they accompanied the groom to pick up the bride.

Night after night the bride waited with eager anticipation, and wondered when her husband would retrieve her.

The arrival of the bridegroom

The bridegroom usually came in the middle of the night. His best friend gave a shout and blew a trumpet to let the bride know they were on the way. They collected the bride, went to the father’s house, and entered the wedding chamber to consummate the marriage.

The couple honeymooned for 7 days while the friends and family celebrated outside the chamber.  When the bride and groom emerged, the marriage supper began.

Understanding the ancient Jewish wedding customs gives us insight into the things that Jesus said as the Bridegroom who beckons his Bride. He continually pointed listeners to the spiritual picture that marriage portrays- Christ and His Church.

Seeing Jesus in the ancient Jewish wedding customs

• Similar to a dowry, Jesus shed his blood to pay the price to redeem a bride for himself. 
• In John 14:2-3 Jesus tells us that he has “gone to prepare a place for us”.
• When we enter the marriage covenant with Jesus at salvation, he gives us a special gift- The Holy Spirit.  Ephesians 1:14 describes this as the earnest of our inheritance until the Lord comes back to claim his purchased possession.
• The bridegroom’s response to those who asked when the wedding ceremony would begin is like what Jesus says when he spoke of his return.  Matthew 24:36- But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. 
• The bride’s waiting period to watch and prepare for her bridegroom’s coming is what we’re supposed to do as New Testament believers. Mark 13:34-37.

Christ and the Church

• The bride’s ceremonial cleansing for purification is what Paul referenced in Ephesians 5:26-27. 
• In the parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25 who had to have oil in their lamps and be ready for the bridegroom, Jesus used a common custom to illustrate a biblical truth. He ends that parable with an admonition for all of us to “Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.”
• The 7 day period within the wedding chamber is similar to the 7 year Tribulation. The Church is united with Christ in heaven.
• Revelation 19:7-9 speaks of the marriage supper of the Lamb, like the feast that takes place after the consummation of the wedding.
• The Lord Jesus will return to gather his bride with a shout, and with the trump of God. The bridegroom beckons his bride- 1Thessalonians 4:16-17

Study time surprises

Fascinating isn’t it? Time after time, Jesus revealed himself as the Bridegroom who beckons his Bride.  I wouldn’t know that unless I had taken the time to hop down that rabbit trail.  I am so glad I did!

What study time surprises have you found lately?  I would love to hear about them, just drop it in the comments below!

Interested in doing a Bible word study? I wrote about that for Ally King at The Modern Mary. You can find the link here: https://www.themodernmary.com/quick-bible-word-study/

If you enjoyed The Bridegroom Beckons His Bride, you might also like:

The Purpose and Picture of Marriage

7 Truths That Can Transform Your Marriage