Are you struggling in your marriage? Do you and your spouse have trouble communicating and connecting? Does it seem like all you do is fight? Trust me, I’ve been there. My husband and I got married young and neither of us had a relationship with Jesus until about nine years into it, so we had a lot of hurts to forgive and bad habits to break. We didn’t know our biblical roles or responsibilities, but God graciously sent us godly men and women who taught us those things. We learned so much, but these 7 truths transformed our hearts and marriage the most.
7 Truths That Can Transform Your Marriage:
- God comes first. Love God more than your spouse.
- God is the source. Let the Lord satisfy you.
- Pride destroys relationships. Let go of self-focus.
- God’s design is best. Live out your biblical role.
- Knowledge is power. Learn your spouse.
- A fool is unfiltered. Listen more than you speak.
- Love wins. Love unconditionally and faithfully.
Truth #1 that can transform your marriage: God Comes First
Jesus said that our love for the Lord comes before our love for others. He alone is worthy of our complete devotion and awe. When we put all of our focus on loving our spouses, we cross the line into worship and adoration that belongs to God alone. God should be #1.
The more we know God, the more we love Him, and the more we will be like Him, respond like Him, and love like Him. Transformation truly comes when both partners seek the face of God.
Jesus said in John 14:15, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Obedience proves your love for God and grows your faith, character, and wisdom. And even if your spouse won’t take the initiative to have a strong relationship with the Lord, you need to anyway.
Luke 10:27 KJV ~ And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. ~ C.S. Lewis Click To Tweet
Truth #2 that can transform your marriage: God is the Source of all things
God is the source of all things. He alone can satisfy the longings of your soul and meet your core needs. The Lord created you and knows your innermost thoughts, dreams, and desires. Peace, joy, fulfillment, and strength all come from your relationship with God.
Draw near to the Lord instead of expecting your spouse to read your mind, make you feel better, and solve all your problems.
Both the husband and the wife need to look to the Lord and let Him satisfy them, or they will suck the life right out of each other. Discontentment, discouragement, and division are detrimental to a marriage.
Truth #3 that can transform your marriage: Pride Destroys Relationships
Proverbs 13:10 KJV ~ Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.
The world will tell you to fight for your rights and that you deserve to be pampered and praised. But Jesus didn’t do that. He’s the epitome of meekness and humility. What a different world we would have if everyone endeavored to be more like Jesus Christ!
When we lay down our will and rights, we unclog the flow of blessings in the home. But when we’re only concerned with ourselves, we’re asking for drama and discord.
Philippians 2:3 KJV ~ Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (Study the book of Philippians if you’d like more joy and unity in your marriage!)
Truth #4: God’s Design is Best
God designed the family structure. His word says that the husband is to be the head of the home and the wife is to be the help-meet. (Genesis 2:18, Ephesians 5:22-24)
Some women are natural-born leaders, and some husbands don’t know how to lead. They’re used to their wives calling the shots, and it’s just easier to let her keep doing it, but that’s not God’s design.
If you didn’t have a biblical marriage modeled for you and would like to know more, read this and this.
Truth #5: Knowledge is Power
To gain discernment and understanding in marriage, you have to be a student of your spouse. Learn their love language and speak it. Be attentive to their likes and dislikes, so you can make adjustments accordingly. These things build intimacy in your relationship and make you a stronger team. And when you’re intentional in learning your spouse, they will feel valued and loved.
Proverbs 24:3-4 KJV ~ Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. ~ Martin Luther Click To Tweet
Truth #6: A Fool is Unfiltered
Proverbs 29:11 KJV ~ A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
Good communication is vital to the health of the marriage. Often we want our position heard and our feelings understood because we think we’re right, and we want our way. So our thoughts spill out freely without any regard to the heart, mind, or will of our spouse.
Try to let them speak first instead and listen without crafting your rebuttal in your mind. Exercise humility and restraint over your mouth. Memorize verses like Psalm 39:1, Psalm 141:3, and James 1:26.
Resist the urge to interrupt or voice your opinion, and give your spouse the respect you want to receive. Put your phone away, make eye contact, and pay attention to what they’re saying. Then when it’s your turn to speak, try to paraphrase what they said and ask plenty of questions to eliminate misunderstandings.
A person who feels like their words matter is more inclined to respect the words of others and engage in meaningful conversation.
James 1:19-20 KJV ~ Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
Truth #7 that can transform your marriage: Love Wins
1Peter 4:8 KJV ~ And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
When you said “I do,” you entered a covenant with God and your spouse, and you vowed to love them faithfully and unconditionally. Release your spouse from unrealistic expectations and just love them. Stop trying to fix them. See them through God’s eyes. Love them the way Jesus loves you, flaws and all.
Remember this to have a godly marriage
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~ Ruth Bell Graham
Along with these 7 truths that can transform your marriage, remember that forgiveness is vital to a thriving marriage. Do your part and forgive freely, give grace as you’ve been given, pray persistently, and watch God work miracles in your marriage!
I am not an expert on marriage, and I don’t have it all figured out. But I know that it transformed our marriage when we applied these 7 truths because God changed our hearts and minds.
A God-honoring marriage doesn’t happen overnight, it takes tenacity. God is faithful, his love never fails, and his grace is enough. Praise Him for the good times and pray through the bad. Lean on the Lord as you take each faith step forward toward a biblical, Christ-centered marriage.
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Pray With Confidence
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3 Short Prayers for Spiritual Stability
When Your Prayer for Pain Relief Goes Unanswered
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Love the asking your husband bible questions instead of the pastor part, something many don’t do but the bible clearly states it.
Good stuff! Thank you for sharing!
fantastic advice that so many marriages need to apply and reapply.
This is so encouraging. My husband and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage this year and while things have been mostly good, I know they could be better! Thanks for this godly wisdom. ❤️
Congratulations on that marriage milestone this year! Thank you for reading and the feedback. I’m glad it was a blessing to ya! God is good! 😊
Sound, scriptural, advice that truly works. Good job.
Thanks for the encouragement, I appreciate ya!! 😊