If you have read many fairytales, you know that they typically end with “and they lived happily ever after”, or something to that effect. That closing line usually follows a story of a girl getting rescued by her very own “Prince Charming”. Those stories engrained in us since childhood lead us to subconsciously equate marriage with happiness.
Then, when marriage loses its luster and arguments abound and our spouse doesn’t give us the treatment we think we deserve, we end up disillusioned and discontent. But is the purpose of marriage to make us happy?
The purpose of marriage
Genesis 2:15-25 presents the first marital union in the Bible. God gave Adam the task of ruling over His creation (Gen. 1:27-28), but He knew Adam needed someone to help him do that, so he made Eve.
Genesis 2:18 KJV ~ And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Marriage was instituted to accomplish the mission of God efficiently and effectively. We can also see that illustrated in Acts 18 with Aquila and Priscilla. They worked together, worshipped together, and witnessed together. Aquila and Priscilla, a powerhouse couple for the Lord, were faithful and fruitful for the glory of God.
Marriage was ordained by God not to make you happy but to bring Him glory. Click To Tweet
The picture of marriage
Ephesians 5:22-33 is considered the definitive passage on Christian marriage in the Bible. In verses 31-32, Paul tells us: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Marriage is a picture of the covenant between Christ as the Bridegroom and the Church, His Bride.
When the wife is subject to her husband, and the husband loves his wife sacrificially, they put the gospel on display and glorify God. A biblical marriage points people to Jesus, but when roles are reversed, and each spouse lives for themselves, the gospel is distorted.
Why do we need to know the picture and purpose of marriage?
Here are a few reasons it is important to know the picture and purpose of marriage:
- Renews our mind on our role and responsibilities.
- Results in peace in the home.
- Removes unrealistic expectations of marriage and of our spouse.
- Releases our spouse from the pressure to make us happy, and frees them to focus on pleasing God.
For example, in my marriage, before we knew what the Bible said about it, things were upside down and backward. We had such a hard time until we discovered we needed to look to Christ to meet our needs instead of to each other.
God taught us to lay down our pride, learn our roles, and leave our preconceived notions behind so that we could live for Him and lead others to Jesus. That all began with the simple truth that the purpose and picture of marriage was to bring God glory by displaying the gospel.
“Your marriage is the gospel you are preaching to your children.”
~ Matthew L. Jacobson
Perspective is key
Biblical marriage is a union of love, grace, sacrifice, and service that brings God the glory he deserves, and draws others to Him. It also sets a beautiful example for our children to follow.
When God puts two people together, they become one flesh; intended to have one goal and be of one mind. Unified. Just like it should be with Christ and His Bride, the Church- to build the Kingdom of God and reproduce worshippers for His glory.
For our marriages to accomplish that mission, we must keep the purpose and picture of marriage in mind. It’s all too easy to let our selfishness, pride, feelings, and desires drive our decisions instead of building our life on what is written in the word of God.
When we submit to our benevolent and kind King, who is all-knowing and all-powerful, and resist the devil who seeks to destroy our marriages and steal God’s glory, we are blessed as a result. That means happy! So ultimately the desire of our heart to have happiness will be fulfilled when we adopt a godly perspective and do things God’s way.
For more on biblical marriage:
7 Truths That Can Transform Your Marriage
3 Basics for a Biblical Marriage: Reason, Roles, Result
Series on Biblical Marriage for The Ruth Project
A Helper under Headship: Obedient to their Husband
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Pray With Confidence
One of the key elements of a godly marriage is prayer. Prayer keeps us dependent on God to supply us with grace and love to pour upon our spouse. We will continue to struggle even if we know the purpose and picture of marriage, if we are not diligent to cover it all in prayer.
Anytime we attempt to accomplish something without prayer, we put ourselves at a disadvantage.
If you would like to grow in your prayer life, then check out Pray with Confidence. It’s a website for helping women overcome prayer obstacles, and I am one of the regular contributors. Here are some links I think will be a blessing to you:
When Your Prayer for Pain Relief Goes Unanswered
3 Short Prayers for Spiritual Stability
Check out the prayer resources, Bible verses, and tough questions tabs as well. There are many great options for your spiritual growth
Amen! Love this so much…… thanks for sharing. Now, I’m going to share. Was talking with someone today on this very subject! God is so good to provide……just at the right time. Keep ’em coming sister!
Praise the Lord,that’s a blessing!! Thanks for sharing! 💛😊
I love this view of “help meet”: Help also means “strength” in Hebrew. Meet means “worthy of, or suitable for” in Greek. (As in bringing forth fruits meet for repentance.) So a wife, or help meet, is someone who is a strength suitable for or worthy of her husband. (As in being equally yoked.) These are great thoughts for prioritizing love in marriage.
Thank you for that info, I appreciate it! Blessings to ya! 🙂
You’re so right. Marriage is supposed to be about making us holy and bringing God greater glory, not making us blissfully happy. While I don’t think it’s God plan for us to be completely miserable in our marriages, our happiness and feelings are not his first priority. Sometimes it can be hard, but you give some great tips here, especially about praying and praising your husband.
Marriage can be so hard! But we can bring God so much glory in it! Thank you for sharing, blessings to ya! 🙂
I think my favorite point in this post, is the point that we are to prioritize our husbands. I find that (as a homeschool Mom) it’s so easy to make the kids the first priority but I know that’s not of God. It’s something I’ve been working on and feel it goes well. #1: We make it a priority to spend time together each day after Supper just chatting about our days. #2: I try to just sit with my husband while he is working when I can. #3: We have a weekly at-home date night. #4: We try to go out and away once a month. #5: I try to greet my husband at the door when he comes home.
Thank you for the tips on prioritizing our husbands! 🙂
Thank you for this lovely and encouraging article on marriage. So agree with your points on praying, praising, prioritising and putting myself under him. I struggle with doing so at times but I sure want us to be a powerhouse couple for God too!
Praise the Lord, I’m glad it was a blessing to ya! 🙂
Aquila and Priscilla’s marriage is a great advice :Worked, Worshipped, and Witnessed together. I love this post. Blessings. Tweeted as well
Thank you for the feedback and share, I appreciate it! Blessings to ya! 😊
God has done so much in our marriage. I can’t even completely explain how He got us from ‘back there’ when we didn’t know Him and were on the verge of divorce to where we are now, 35 years later. We are so thankful to Him for saving us and our marriage. My hubby is my best friend! ❤
Praise the Lord! God is so good!! ❤️️