To the Girl Without a Gift on Valentine’s Day

As Valentine’s Day approaches I can’t help but think about the girls out there who won’t have a beautiful bouquet or a box of bite-sized deliciousness. Everyone wants to feel significant, to know they are seen, heard, known, and loved, especially on holidays like this one. So I decided to write this post to the girl without a gift on Valentine’s Day.

The girl who will look at what her friends received and will shrink back into herself in sorrow and self-loathing. And the girl who will cry herself to sleep because she doesn’t feel good enough or pretty enough to be loved by anyone.  To the girl who wonders if her life even matters at all… this one’s for you.

To the girl without a gift on Valentine’s Day

Girl, I know how you feel. I’ve been that girl before. I’ve had my share of disappointing and depressing Valentine’s Days. It’s not a blessing, but over the years I’ve discovered that there’s a trigger that sends me headlong into the pit of self-focused sadness.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”- Theodore Roosevelt

Comparison steals more than just our joy. When we’re comparing ourselves with others we can also lose our contentment and drain our charity tank.  If we come up short in our estimation against someone else a root of envy begins to grow in our heart. That can lead to bitterness, contention, and strife.

Proverbs 27:4 – Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?

Discontentment Divides

My dad is by far the most romantic man I’ve ever seen. He loves to shower my Mom with love and attention. There have been mushy love notes on the fridge for as long as I can remember.  And she’s gotten flowers and jewelry galore over the years. He provides an awesome example for my husband and sons to follow. He knows his wife, deeply loves her, and makes sure she feels loved.  And not just with beautiful gifts.

If I were to hold my husband to the standard of my dad and expect him to lavish gifts on me, I would be discontent, he would be discouraged, and division would be eminent.

So to cultivate contentment in my heart, I recount all of the ways I am loved. I list out my blessings and praise God for each one.

If you are a girl without a gift on Valentine’s Day, make a list of the gifts from God you have received this year.

Isaiah 61:3 – To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

Does anyone love me?

If we measure love by the number of gifts or attention we receive then we may not feel loved. But just because we think it or feel it, doesn’t make it true.  Don’t believe the lie from the devil that you are unloved. Renew your mind with what God says about it.

1John 4:16 says that God is love.  Not only that, but He showed us how much He loves us by giving up His only Son for us.

John 3:16 ~ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

So to the girl without a gift, if you have Jesus, you have the best gift there is.  And if you’ve accepted that free gift of salvation you also have the gift of the Holy Spirit within you. Yielding to Him will make you others-focused while giving into your flesh will just make you self-focused.

Be a blessing.

Ask God to show you ways to be a blessing instead of receiving one. Be on the lookout for people who may be feeling lonely and unloved.  Allow God to use you as a vessel to share the gift of His love with those who desperately need it. Send a card, make a phone call, bring flowers, take them to dinner, or just visit. There are so many ways to bless others.

Stop thinking of yourself as the girl without a gift, and instead be encouraged and empowered as the girl with the only gift that matters.

Receive redemption.

If you’re the girl without a gift and you’ve never surrendered your life to Christ, I hope that you know that God loves you. He wants you to be free from the chains of sin and the sentence of death.  And you can be because Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty for your sins.  He rose again from the grave and is alive forevermore.  Through faith in Him, you can have forgiveness of sins, new life in Christ, and the security of knowing you have eternal life with God in heaven.

Becoming the girl with the greatest gift is as easy as A, B, C, R.

• Acknowledge that you’re a sinner separated from God.
• Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.
• Confess your sin and your faith in Him.
• Repent and receive Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior.

When you receive this eternal gift you can rest assured in His perfect love for you. Even if no one pays you any attention or shows you any affection, the Lord sees you as worth dying for.  He wrote your name in the Lamb’s Book of Life the moment you were born-again. He’s preparing a place for you and will soon return to carry you away to His eternal kingdom and glory! What more could a girl ask for?

Hebrews 13:5 ~ Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

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Pray With Confidence

If you would like to grow in your prayer life, then check out Pray with Confidence.  It’s a website for helping women overcome prayer obstacles, and I am one of the 30 monthly contributors. Here are a few links I think will be a blessing to you:

3 Short Prayers for Spiritual Stability

2 Things to Remember to Find Peace in Chaos

19 Bible Verses that Reveal the Will of God

15 Bible Verses About Rest When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

You also want to check out the prayer resources, Bible verses, and tough questions tabs.  There are many great options to boost your spiritual growth!